FOR MAK --> FROM JAMES BLUNT

William sent me this lyric and song dedicated to Mak.. and every single word in this song represents what we went through with her last moments before her passing.... this song was truly made for her...

Trouble is her only friend and he's back again.
Makes her body older than it really is.
She says it's high time she went away,
No one's got much to say in this town.
Trouble is the only way is down.
Down, down.
As strong as you were, tender you go.
I'm watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,
I know what it means and I'll carry you home.
I'll carry you home.
If she had wings she would fly away,
And another day God will give her some.
Trouble is the only way is down.
Down, down.
As strong as you were, tender you go.
I'm watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,
I know what it means and I'll carry you home.
I'll carry you home.
And they were all born in New York City tonight,
And someone's little girl was taken from the world tonight,
Under the Stars and Stripes.
As strong as you were, tender you go.
I'm watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,
I know what it means and I'll carry you home.
I'll carry you home.



I still ache for you Mak every single minute of the day.. I wish I could hug you one last time... just one last time:(

MAK....

Its been almost a month since Mak's passing.. I am back in the USA and it sucks.. horribly... Porky has been trying his best to make me happy.. but the fact is.. I am miserable without Mak.....Everyday is a chore these days... everything i do I think of her.... I went to walmart the other day... when i passed the clothing department and saw the shelves of white stag t shirt that she loved it hit me so hard... that i cant buy anything anymore for her... i still look around for stuff to buy for her... and my heart constantly feels like it has been stabbed a million times and its bleeding so bad.... coz i know i will never see her delightful smile when i buy her nice lil things....... the drive to work is so hard because it reminds me of when I was driving her around in Malaysia.. our moments together in the car gossiping and showing her places....taking her to Tesco or to her mother's house..... being at the office is also horrible because I use to call her from my office and hear her voice ..... now i know i wont ever hear her voice anymore... it hurts so bad.. its so hard to deal with .. i fell like trash... i feel like laying in bed all day with a huge box of kleenex and cry my heart out and call out to her... maybe she would come back..maybe this was just a very bad dream... maybe i can at least hug her one last time.. maybe i can smell her sweet powder scent.. maybe i can just let her play with my hair and pet me like she use to when we were chilling out at home.....i wish i can see her once again sitting on her favourite lazy chair in her sarong.. in her cotton colored t shirt eating snack and watching malay drama..... its so hard to deal with....its so hard to lose mak.... memory of seeing her last breath was the only thing on my mind right now... to see her last tears... to see her lost battle with cancer...... it hurts so bad.....