its been a year since i wrote... i am still feeling the same... everytime i think of my mother.... it feels like a thousand daggers stabbing my heart....it never fails to put me to tears... i still call out to her when i am driving to work and on the way home...... I am also very spiteful that I had to celebrate mothers day eventhough i felt so miserable on that day...I hate the fact that I had to wish Happy Mother's day to my mother in law.... when all I wanted to do was lay in bed and cry all day .. and think fo my MUM and what I could have gotten her for mothers day and what we could have done together..... I miss her so much .. one can only imagine... I want to call her to share my happiness and success... and my life... to tell her I am alright and to ask her how she is.. how's her llimau perut plant and papaya plant growing... what food I want to eat when I come back to Malaysia.... I want her to tell me how the neighbour is annoying her... and how my brothers and sisters are coping..... I just want to hear her voice one more day...... Its been a year and its still so god damm hard...... this pain will never ever go away.... even if I myself become a mother... I will never ever be the same without her...
Mak......... Mak.... no answer... no one calling me... tualam.... makmok.... or make funny sounds "wekkkk" thats our secret code = kissing and greeting each other when we talk...... I miss her so much.. she definitely took a big chunk of my heart when she went away.... Only a a motherless daughther wwould understand how this feels......
miss you so much..... so so so so much...